‘I Shouldn’t Complain…’ – Why You Shouldn’t Worry About Complaining to a Cancer Survivor

When you’ve had cancer, it seems as though anything that comes afterwards couldn’t possibly compare. I mean, you’ve had cancer. It’s a huge thing to overcome & after you’ve been through all the treatment and the operations, you don’t think you could ever feel worse in your life.

At the time, you somehow find the strength to carry on but twelve years on, I honestly don’t know how my body coped with all the things it went through. I had a whole mouth full of ulcers when I was on chemo – I get one these days & it seems like I can’t think about anything other than the pain!

People have even told me that when they’re ill, they think of the way I handled cancer treatment & feel as though they shouldn’t moan about their own illness. Honestly, it makes me sad that people feel uncomfortable opening up about their own pain to me, just because I’ve had cancer.

Because the truth is, there’s really no need to compare one person’s pain with another or the pain I had 12 years ago with what I’m feeling now. 

A couple of weeks ago, I had a really bad cold & I felt absolutely rubbish 😦 I went to bed early every night, feeling sorry for myself with some Lemsip and Soothers.

But I couldn’t have made myself feel any better than I did by saying ‘I’ve been through worse.’ Of course, it’s always a comforting thought to have; my body got through cancer, it can probably get through lots of other things but it wouldn’t have made my head feel any lighter!

It’s the same with grief; I can’t say that I’m any sadder than you about something – it’s just not a comparable thing.

I don’t like the thought of other people feeling uncomfortable around me when they’re poorly just because whatever they have isn’t as ‘bad’ as cancer. Complain away, people!

Please feel free to moan, complain and rant to me about anything – I honestly don’t mind. 

As long as we recognise our blessings as well as the things that have gone wrong, I think we’ll all be alright 🙂

Allie x


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